Should I Feel Guilty About Having An Affair With A Married Man?
If you ask yourself this question, you’re likely wondering why you’re OK with being in a situation that a lot of people think is wrong.
You may be questioning whether what feels good or right to you is different from what society expects. It’s normal to think about this, especially when your choices don’t fit into the usual ideas.
Perhaps you’re trying to make sense of conflicting emotions, enjoyment, confusion, and a lack of guilt.
You’re also looking inside yourself and evaluating what’s truly important to you in relationships and life, and understand your own rules about what’s right and wrong.
You may – or may not – be thinking about the potential consequences of your actions on others involved like his wife and children.
Let’s go over a few common reasons you’re not feeling guilty. Then, we’ll take a look at some of the reasons others think you should.
See also: 15 Obvious Signs He’s Forgiving You For Cheating
1. You have strong feelings for him
Your feelings for him might be overpowering other emotions including guilt. Feeling deeply about someone can cloud our judgment and make it hard to see the consequences of our actions clearly.
Strong emotions often overshadow our sense of right and wrong. Love is a complicated feeling that can be hard to see things clearly.
2. You have different beliefs
What you believe about love, relationships, and commitment dictate how you feel about this situation.
You think that relationships don’t always have to be the same for everyone. You believe that they can be different and don’t have to follow the usual rule of being only with one person.
This belief makes it easier for you to be in a situation like this without feeling guilty. You see it as a different kind of relationship that suits you.
3. You’re both agreeing adults
The idea of being two agreeing adults in this relationship reduces your feelings of guilt. You view the mutual consent as a justification, thinking that if both of you are OK with it, then it’s not wrong.
This perspective frames your relationship as a shared choice rather than an unethical action.
4. You found something that was missing
Finding happiness and fulfillment in this relationship is a crucial thing for you. When you’re getting the affection, excitement, or understanding you’ve been missing, it overshadows any feelings of guilt.
Everyone is in charge of their own happiness. You met, and there was a connection. Life is complicated, and things don’t always fit into neat boxes.
In this case, you’ve found some happiness in a situation that is not ideal.
Being with him may also make you feel free or independent. These feelings are more important to you than what other people say.
5. It’s not your marriage
You believe that keeping the marriage sacred is his responsibility, not yours. It’s his marriage, so it’s up to him to stay faithful. This thought lessens your guilt.
He is the one breaking his marriage vows. It’s his responsibility to be faithful to his partner, and his actions are his own. You’re not the one who made a commitment to someone else.
This way of thinking shifts the responsibility away from you, making it easier to not feel guilty.
6. His marriage is already in trouble
You might think that if his marriage was already having problems, your being with him doesn’t really change things. You see the relationship as a consequence of existing problems, not the cause.
When we’re unhappy in our current situation, we often seek comfort elsewhere, and this can make us feel justified in our actions, even if they go against typical moral standards.
7. You don’t want to be fully committed
Your reluctance to embrace full commitment in a relationship may be a significant factor influencing your feelings.
If you find that you’re more comfortable with less commitment, and prefer a relationship that doesn’t come with the full set of responsibilities, being involved with a married man is a convenient arrangement.
It lets you enjoy the benefits of companionship without the demands of a committed partnership.
This reduces your feelings of guilt since your level of emotional involvement and expectation is lower.
Now, let’s look at common reasons other people, especially married women, think you should feel bad about the situation:
1. You help him break the trust
People often see this as breaking the trust that should be in a marriage.
2. This situation is wrong
Many cultures don’t agree with someone being with a married person. They see marriage as something very special or legally important that should be kept safe.
3. You’re causing trouble
There’s a chance that everyone involved might feel guilty, sad, or have their relationships get more complicated. You could be part of problems or fights in his marriage.
4. You’re hurting a family
People worry about how this could hurt his family, especially if he has kids.
5. You’re going against what’s normal
You should feel guilty because you’re doing something that most people think you shouldn’t.
6. You should question yourself
You need to start to question if what you’re doing is right and how it affects how you see yourself.
7. Your social status will be impacted
You shoud be worried about how this will affect your relationships and if people will trust you in the future.
8. What goes around comes around
You should worry about the same things happening to you if you later get involved in a long-term relationship or marriage
Bottom line
Whether or not you feel guilty depends on who you are, what’s happening in your life, and what you believe. People who pass judgment on you often have different beliefs, like moral or religious ones, or they might feel worried about their own relationships.
The key thing to consider is whether this relationship makes both of you happier overall. It’s also essential to make sure it doesn’t harm his family because that could trouble you in the long run.
Everything else, like how people judge you, mostly comes down to what each person personally believes. It’s about what feels right to you in your unique situation.
