He’s Too Good For Me (Or Is He?)

When you say your boyfriend is “too good” for you, what exactly do you mean? This feeling likely comes from comparing yourself to him and finding yourself lacking.

Maybe you think he’s better looking, smarter, more successful, or just kinder than you are. You feel there’s a mismatch, and you can’t help but wonder why he chose you over someone who might seem like a better fit for him on paper.

This leads you to feel like you’ve somehow tricked him into being with you, or that you’re holding him back from being with someone “better.”

See also:
My boyfriend Loves Me More Than I Love Him
15 Strong Signs That You Love The Idea of Him (Not Him)

Why do you feel this way?

You might have (or have had in the past) negative thoughts or actions that make you feel you’re not as good a person as he is.

Or, you may feel you’re not as educated, smart, well-traveled, sporty, wealthy etc as he is.

Regardless of your situation, your mindset is probably deeply tied to how you see yourself. It’s rooted in your self-esteem and past experiences that have shaped your view of your worth.

Maybe in the past, you’ve been made to feel less than, whether by family, friends, or previous men. You may have a hard time believing that someone truly good and caring wants to be with you, just for you. You feel grateful yet undeserving.

This makes you question the very foundation of your relationship and wonder when the other shoe will drop – when he’ll realize he can do better and leave.

See also: Why Am I Not In Love With My Boyfriend? (Even Though He Is)

Sabotaging your relationship

The feeling that your boyfriend is too good for you leads you to sabotage what you have because of insecurity and fear.

You wait for him to get tired of your insecurities or to decide he wants someone “better.” You may act out, push him away, or look for faults in him to justify your feelings.

It’s a defense mechanism. You try to protect yourself from the pain of a potential breakup by pushing him away first.

You’re trapped in a cycle of low self-esteem where you’re always looking for validation but never really believe it when it comes.

You rely heavily on him for your sense of worth, and you don’t see the value you bring to the relationship. Your perception of being the “lesser” partner in a one-sided relationship stops you from being your true self.

You hold back on expressing your thoughts and needs, because you don’t feel worthy of having them met.

Understand that these feelings of inadequacy are internal and not reflective of your partner’s view of you. You need to work on your self-esteem and learn to value yourself as much as your boyfriend does.

See also: 15 Obvious Signs He’s Forgiving You For Cheating

See yourself through his eyes

It’s time to see yourself through your boyfriend’s eyes. He sees something wonderful in you, something that made him choose you among many. He sees your kindness, your intelligence, your beauty, and your worth.

He’s not with you by mistake, he’s with you because of who you are, and he values that. You are a great person, with so much to offer, not just to him but to the world. Your boyfriend sees this, and it’s important for you to start seeing it too.

His belief in you is a mirror reflecting your true self, your strengths, your virtues, your potential. Let that reflection help you realize your own value

See also: Psychological Traits That Draw Men To Women

Work on your self growth

Taking steps towards self-growth is also important in overcoming feelings of inadequacy. Begin by setting small, achievable goals for yourself.

Try to step out of your comfort zone to boost your self-esteem. Try something new that also scares you a bit, like an acting class, skydiving, rappelling, or even karaoke.

These activities will challenge you to face your fears and show you what you’re truly capable of. Speaking in front of an audience, no matter the size, improves your confidence.

Every time you conquer a fear, your self-esteem gets a lift.

Volunteering is another powerful way to boost your self-worth. Helping others makes you feel valued and connected and reminds you of the impact you have.

Read books on self-improvement, listen to motivational podcasts for new perspectives and coping strategies.

Also consider daily journaling to write down your fears, achievements, and reflections.

Consider seeking counseling

Seeking counseling is a brave and effective step towards understanding and improving your self-respect. A counselor will provide a safe space for you to explore the roots of your feelings of inadequacy.

He or she will help you uncover past experiences or messages that may have contributed to your low self-esteem.

Therapists use techniques llike cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you identify and change negative thought patterns. They support you as you work on setting boundaries and practicing self-care.

Going to therapy is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you’re ready to invest in your well-being and happiness.

Improve yourself at his side

Improving yourself alongside a great person is a unique opportunity for growth. View your relationship as a source of inspiration rather than intimidation.

Your boyfriend’s strengths can motivate you to explore areas you wish to develop in yourself.

If he’s knowledgeable about something you’re interested in, use this as a chance to learn from him. Share your goals and aspirations with him and let him support you in achieving them.

You might engage in joint activities such as fitness challenges, cooking classes, or language learning. Shared improvement can be incredibly rewarding and help you be the best version of yourself.

Beware of co-dependency

Another aspect to look into is the way that you perceive your boyfriend. While you see him as an amazing person, there may be aspects of him that you’re overseeing.

Nobody is perfect, and your boyfriend likely has his own dark sides.

You may feel he’s better than you because he’s kind, attentionate, and thoughtful to you, or puts you on a pedestal. This places a lot of pressure on you, as you feel you’re not nearly as kind to him.

While it may seem flattering at first, being placed on a pedestal creates pressure to meet unrealistic expectations.

If he relies on you too heavily for his happiness or validation, it can lead to an imbalanced relationship where your needs and feelings are overshadowed by his dependency.

This can lead to co-dependency where your self-worth becomes too intertwined with his perception of you.

A healthy relationship needs to be balanced, with both individuals supporting each other without overreliance on one for emotional support.

If his intense neediness or constant praise makes you uneasy, it’s important to address these feelings.

Is he the right one for you?

If you constantly feel like your boyfriend is too good for you, it might be worth considering if he’s truly the right partner for you.

A healthy relationship should make you feel secure, valued, and confident, not inferior or unworthy.

If his presence or behavior, even unintentionally, perpetuates your feelings of inadequacy, you should probably take a closer look at the relationship.

If, despite your efforts to work on your self-esteem and communicate your needs, the relationship still leaves you feeling less-than, it might not be the right match for you.

See also: 17 Signs He’s Not The One For You