Here’s Why He doesn’t compliment You (11 Reasons)
You might remember a time in a past relationship when compliments were a regular treat. They made you feel special and appreciated, like you were on top of the world.
But now, things have changed. You put effort into looking your best and being the best woman for him, yet he doesn’t seem to react. He can compliment other women, so why not you?
You often feel sad and unappreciated, constantly seeking his attention, hoping for just a bit of the attention you once felt. You wonder if he truly sees you, even though he says he loves you.
Below are 11 possible reasons he won’t (or rarely) compliment you. Armed with this understanding, you’ll be able to decide whether you need to have an honest conversation with him, learn to live with it, or perhaps consider moving on.
#1. He’s already won you over
He may not compliment you because he feels he’s already won you over. Some men chase what’s new, ignoring what they have. Once they’re in a relationship, they stop making the effort.
For him, praising you may have been part of the chase. Now that he’s “won” you, he might not see the need to keep it up.
#2. He’s not one to give praise
He may just not be the kind of person who gives praise easily. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care or isn’t impressed by you, but some guys are not comfortable expressing their feelings or don’t think to verbalize their appreciation.
Maybe he believes you already know how he feels, so he doesn’t see the need to say it out loud. If you’re someone who values verbal affirmation, this can be very frustrating.
#3. He’s insecure or scared
Your guy might not compliment you because he feels insecure or scared deep down. He worries that if he boosts your confidence too much, you’ll think you deserve better and perhaps leave him.
So, instead of lifting you up, he tries to keep you down a bit to feel more secure in the relationship.
#4. He has a different way of showing love
People, and men in particular, express love in various ways. Some use compliments, but others show it more through actions or gifts.
If his “love language” differs from yours, he might may not naturally express affection through compliments. Perhaps he shows his love in other ways, like spending quality time together or doing things for you.
#5. He likes to play games
Some men withhold compliments as a way to play games or manipulate the relationship. By keeping you guessing about his feelings, he better controls the situation or makes you more interested.
This creates unnecessary tension and makes it hard to trust each other. If you think your partner is playing games with compliments or emotions, try to talk about it with him and share how you feel.
#6. He’s overly teasing
Instead of giving you sincere compliments, he pokes fun at you or make sarcastic remarks. Teasing is his way of talking to you without really showing how much he likes you.
Maybe he’s not comfortable giving direct compliments, so he jokes around instead. While teasing can be playful, if it’s constant or hurtful, it can damage your self-esteem.
He may not even realize that his teasing is affecting you negatively.
Teasing too much can also hide bigger feelings, like the fear to open up. If he’s always teasing and never saying sweet things, he may be avoiding getting close to you emotionally.
#7. He was brought up this way
If he grew up in a family where compliments weren’t common, he might not know how to give them. Maybe his parents didn’t praise him much, so he doesn’t realize the importance of compliments in a relationship and doesn’t know how to express his feelings that way.
#8. He wants to control you
He may think that praising you would elevate your status and diminish his own. This can stem from insecurity or a desire to maintain control in the relationship.
By withholding compliments, he makes you doubt yourself, so you turn to him for advice and approval. He asserts dominance by keeping you reliant on his approval. It gives him control over you and makes him “the boss” in your relationship.
#9. He senses you’re insecure or needy
If you seek constant validation from him, for example you don’t feel attractive unless he tells you you’re pretty, it can lead him to hold back on compliments.
Your insecurity puts pressure on him to constantly reassure you, which can be exhausting. So in response, he withholds compliments, thinking it’s better not to reinforce your dependency on validation.
He may instead focus on reassuring you in other ways, through actions or by spending time together.
#10. He’s narcissistic
If he’s narcissistic, he may not compliment you because he’s too wrapped up in himself. What matters is him, and he doesn’t see the need to acknowledge your good qualities.
Giving compliments also makes him feel like he’s lowering himself, or giving you too much credit. So he keeps them to himself, wanting all the attention for himself. On the other hand, it makes him feel good when you compliment him.
#11. He believes compliments lose value over time
Some people think that if they compliment you too much, it loses its meaning. Just like if you eat your favorite food every day, it stops feeling special.
He worries that if he showers you with compliments all the time, they won’t feel sincere anymore. So, instead of giving them regularly, he holds back, so when he does say something nice, it will have more impact.
In conclusion?
Some guys don’t give compliments to their partners even if they compliment other people (including women).
This might be because of how they grew up, their personality, or how they talk. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. They just might not be used to saying nice things to the woman they’re with.
It’s great to get compliments, but they shouldn’t be what makes you feel good about yourself. You should know your own worth without needing him to tell you.
Also, if you don’t worry too much about getting compliments from him, he might start giving them more.
That said, if you notice controlling behavior or often feel bad about yourself, you might think about moving on to be happier.