12 Reasons He’s Not Making The First Move

So you’ve been getting some vibes from that cute guy, but he still hasn’t asked you out. You’re wondering what’s holding him back from making a move.

Don’t stress, there are lots of possible reasons why he hasn’t taken things to the next level even though he seems interested.

Let’s go over 12 common reasons for why he may be hesitating, and get some insight into what might be going on in his head. Hopefully, by the end of the article you’ll feel less confused and will have the patience to wait.

See also: Guy Stares At You And Then Quickly Looks Away

1. He’s not sure if you’re interested

He’s simply oblivious to the signals you’ve been sending his ways. Men aren’t the best at picking up on subtle cues – especially when emotions are involved.

He may see you as a friend and nothing more unless given an extremely clear indication of your interest. Your flirting goes over his head, and friendly conversations don’t register as flirting to him.

Without an obvious green light, he remains clueless and doesn’t realize you’re receptive to his advances and you’re waiting for him to make the first move.

See also: 9 Signs He Knows You Like Him

2. He’s scared of rejection

Rejection can really hurt a person’s confidence and self-esteem. For some, the fear of being turned down is almost paralyzing. He doesn’t want to face the embarrassment or blow to his ego by saying how he feels and you not reciprocating.

Admitting his vulnerability only to be shot down is his biggest worry. It’s easier for him to do nothing than risk putting pride on the line.

3. He’s not ready for a new relationship yet

It’s possible he needs more time to heal from his last relationship before embarking on a new one. Breakups leave emotional scars and often affect your willingness to open up again for a while.

He may still be processing his breakup and adjusting to being single. Jumping too soon into something serious with you could end up being a rebound situation. He’s taking a step back to figure things out.

See also: 9 Tips To Attract A Man Who’s Not Interested In You

4. He’s worried about making things awkward

He’s afraid things will become awkward between the two of you if he finds out you don’t feel the same way or you’re not interested in dating him.

Rejection is always a possibility, and it could make future interactions tense and uncomfortable for you two. He’s concerned about damaging your current friendship, which might impact other people too (friends, colleagues etc).

It’s easier for him to keep things casual and risk-free than to create an awkward situation between you that can’t be undone.

5. He thinks you’re out of his league

He feels you are more attractive, successful, or have your life more together than he does. Deep down, he may feel you deserve someone on your same “level” and wouldn’t consider him a worthy partner.

He’s not making a move because he doesn’t want to face the humiliation of putting himself out there only to be proved right in his assumption that you are a level above what he can attain.

See also: I Am Pretty But Guys Don’t Approach Me

6. He struggles to express his feelings

For some men, openly expressing feelings of affection, attraction, and in general emotions, does not come easily.

Admitting how he feels to you directly is hard for him, he struggles with emotional communication. Vulnerability does not come naturally to him. The internal barrier holds him back from making the first move, even if he wants to.

7. He has low self-esteem and past relationship worries

He may be struggling with low self-worth or confidence in himself as a boyfriend. Past hurt or rejection has taken its toll.

He may worry that you’ll ultimately lose interest in him like in his other relationships. He thinks history will only repeat itself. Mental blocks hold him back from fully opening his heart again.

8. He’s afraid of being seen in the wrong way

He may worry that opening up to you will have a negative effect on how you see him. You may misunderstand his intentions or see him as too pushy or aggressive. Or others may judge him harshly for coming on too strong.

In today’s cultural climate, approaches toward women are often scrutinized and there is little room for missteps. Rather than risk being perceived the wrong way, he prefers to err on the side of caution and avoid crossing any risky line.

9. He’s unsure about your relationship status

Perhaps he has feelings for you but isn’t entirely clear about your current dating situation. Are you single and available? Is there someone else in the picture that he’s unaware of?

He doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries or come between you and another person. So he stays silent about his feelings

10. He’s distracted by other women

While he likes you, other women may also get his attention, so he’s pulled in a few directions. He has fun with you but he hasn’t completely made up his mind.

He doesn’t want to get your hopes up, or juggle dates with multiple women at once. So for now, he’s holding off on making a move.

See also: 10 reasons he looks at other women

11. He’s concerned about his physical or material situation

He feels insecure about where he’s at in life right now. He feels you deserve better than what he has to offer at this moment – be it his living situation, his job, his finances, health, or independence.

He afraid you’d judge him for his current physical or material circumstances, rather than who he is inside, and self-doubt creeps in. So he holds off on showing his interest until he gains more stability in these aspects.

12. He doesn’t find the right opportunity to talk with you alone

It could be that he hasn’t found the right time with just the two of you in a place where you can talk quietly without other people around.

At work, school, parties with friends, or other places with groups, there are other people around you. It’s hard to share his personal feelings, or see how you really feel without others listening in.

So he may wait for an opportunity for an uninterrupted chat just between the two of you, where he has your full attention.

Final thoughts

If none of these reasons seem to fit your situation, or if he continues to hesitate even after things change, you may want to consider taking things into your own hands.

Waiting around indefinitely won’t get you anywhere. Try taking control and making the first move yourself, for example by asking him out or clearly showing your interest. It’s empowering to put yourself out there.

Who knows, he may just need a little nudge of courage from you to reciprocate how he’s really been feeling all along.